If I write it down, I won't be able to convince myself that none of it happened.

I fear I will go mad if I don't leave behind some kind of record. Nothing less than a full account of our life together, from the trembling start all the way to the brutal end. Am I sick to still think on you softly, even after all the blood and broken promises? It is the only way I can think to survive and I hope, even now, that you would be proud of my determination to persist.

I am trying to tell you why I did what I did. So happy to be chosen.Įven loneliness, hollow and cold, becomes so familiar it starts to feel like a friend. I was so happy to be your marionette, at first. You filled me with your loving guidance, stitched up my seams with thread in your favorite color, taught me how to walk and talk and smile in whatever way pleased you best. You coaxed that tenacity out of me and broke it down in your hands, leaving me on your work table like a desiccated doll until you were ready to repair me. But I was your war bride, your faithful Constanta, and you loved me for my will to survive. Magdalena for her brilliance, Alexi for his loveliness. I know you loved us all, in your own way. Eventually, even your death becomes its own sort of inevitability. There is no horror left in this world that can surprise me. I never dreamed it would end like this, my lord: your blood splashing hot flecks onto my nightgown and pouring in rivulets onto our bedchamber floor. 'Revival' in The Fiends in the Furrows: An Anthology of Folk Horror edited by David T. 'Brideprice' in Unspeakable: A Queer Gothic Anthology No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious

The moral right of the author has been asserted.Īll characters and events in this publication, other than First published in Great Britain in 2022 by Orbit

A dowry of blood st gibson